Indisputable Proof that LOST SUCKS!

*SPOILER ALERT***** LOST SUX

I have solid evidence to prove that the writers for the show LOST do not know what they’re doing. Firstly, they have Sawyer and Juliet constantly saying “You got my back” like G.I. Joe wannabes. Do they think it’s funny or cute to keep saying that as if it’s more meaningful than rephrasing? How about “are you with me?” or “back me up?” or “Let’s hook up after this even though I’m still in love with Kate”. Oh wait, he basically does say that when he stares at Kate with those charming eyes while she stares back at him with that same damned expression with just a touch of contempt and judgmental attitude that she holds for everyone who doesn’t agree with her. Did she get botox or something?

Secondly – for those of you that think that his body (you know who) being in the trunk was unpredictable, you must not be able to predict the path of a falling object that you threw straight up into the air. I mean seriously, what in the hell would it be. They said Locke had to die and bring everyone back – uduhhhhh – at least they showed lock in the far past in order to explain why there are two Lockes on the island now; if you can’t guess then I feel sorry for you.

Thirdly – They put Jacob arbitrarily into the flashbacks for no other reason than to infer that he has been pulling the strings this whole time. This is what is colloquially referred to as BULLSHIT. It just shows the writers’ lack of foresight that they have to insert him just before introducing us to him at the statue. When was the first appearance of the statue in the series? I don’t remember any statues or feet before and no one seemed to see it from the chopper or the boat, despite being a rather remarkable landmark. A lot of shows change style and story between seasons but LOST seems to make it up episode by episode, resulting in nothing being explained and nothing happening.

Fourthly – who’s bright idea was it to have a smoke monster that first appeared in the early first season and has yet to be explained. I assume it has to do with the energy deposit they drilled into.

Fifthly (wow I didn’t realize I had so many talking points) – the writers do not know how to kill a character. If you watch the show and get to the point where Faraday is going on his “let’s detonate the thermonuclear device” mission, you should plainly be able to see that he is going to die. Think about it: the only times they really focus on a character and flesh him out like that is when they are gonna kill him. They told us EVERYTHING about him so it’s not like there’s any mystery if he dies. Same thing happened with Charlie.

Sixth – the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks. In the beginning I thought they were awesome because they showed people’s basic background and it helped us understand how they developed. But when they are used as a device to introduce new information that isn’t relevant to the core of the story, that is inexcusable.

***EVIDENCE***

Here is the indisputable evidence that the LOST writers suck at story telling. It’s a small instance but it’s the perfect example and is the epitome of filler and stupidity…drum roll please…************

“Just because two people love each other, doesn’t always mean they’re supposed to be together.” – Juliet to Sawyer

Wow. I mean WOW. Did we really need a flashback about her parents’ divorce, an incident that has had no relevancy or impact whatsoever to anything in the series so far, in order for her to say that? Why couldn’t she just say:

“Just because two people love each other, doesn’t always mean they’re supposed to be together. It’s what my parents taught me” then Sawyer can say
“You’re parents got divorced didn’t they?” and she could look down and be like “Yeah”

See? See how easy that is? You don’t need a flashback for every little thing? Only events that matter should have flashbacks. Juliet’s parents’ divorce is absolutely undeniable evidence that the writers were just putting fillers to pad their 42 minute mark and that they depend on repeating stupid phrases like “I got your back” and “We have to go the island *pant* *pant*”

I say NO. No, we don’t have to go back to the island. We don’t have to get LOST in this menagerie of disconnected and unexplained events where sound effects, shoddy camera work, and cuts the word LOST are used to make drama as opposed to, well, actually writing a good drama like the beginning of LOST was or the first season and even second season of Prison Break, most of Heroes, and ER up until George Clooney left.

There are a lot of aspects I liked about Lost. The character development in the beginning was spot on, dialogue was good, and they were just trying to survive rather than take it for granted that there were resources readily available. This is what happens when people who were struggling to survive come upon the means to over supply themselves: they make fake drama about nothing (especially Kate, the all-purpose slut) rather than do things that make sense.

I liked that it was Desmond’s fault that the plane crashed, I was even fine with the concept of ‘the others’ and having the Dharma Initiative be there in the 70′s because that is totally something a private American corporation would do if they found an island with weird properties. I even liked the time travel to explain where somethings came from like the van, the hatch and all of the stations.

But in the end, it’s obvious that even though the overall story is pretty good, the story telling is an egregious offense to good writers everywhere who don’t stoop to cliches in order to pretend to generate drama.

Unpredictability doesn’t equal originality. Retarded and insane people are unpredictable, which clearly categorizes the LOST writing staff.

Bring back compelling story telling the way it was supposed to be done!!

Don’t believe me? Show me PROOF!

Chopped Needs to be Chopped

Am I the only one who hates the show chopped? I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else realized how bad some parts of that show are. For the most part, it’s a standard cooking competition show and it’s cool to see people get creative with such ecclectic mixes as chorizo, canned peaches, asparagus and mushrooms. But the judges are who piss me off the most. The woman is such a mega bitch. She attempts to dislike everything and even seems disappointed sometimes when she actually likes something. She does give out good compliments but she makes so many baseless criticisms that it’s hard to take her seriously. The other judges are alright, but the judging overall is pretty silly.

One contestant dropped a piece of meat on the floor, picked it up and continued cooking it without washing it. I couldn’t believe it and the judges were rightfully disgusted. They always talk about the dishes in relation to how a chef should compose dishes and be professional with their work. One lady ran out of the time and didn’t include one of the ingredients in a dish which took a hefty toll. The guy who dropped a piece of meat, however, didn’t immediately get chopped.

How in the hell can you be a valid judge of food and technique when you rightfully rail someone for missing an ingredient but letting someone slide on dropping food on the floor and cooking it? Also, I like it when a contestant finishes and offers help to another since real cooks work together on pieces of dishes, like in Iron Chef.

Overall, these judges are mostly pretentious and seem to pride themselves on disliking food and finding things wrong with the dishes for the sake of it. I’d much rather watch Iron Chef, at least the judges rotate more and the food is more novel.

Plus Morimoto’s the man.